Sometimes it has seemed like everyone around me is always a step ahead and on my worst days it still feels like I keep falling further behind. Growing up I always had a clear idea of exactly where I would be by the time I was (x) age. I wrote these ideas out in great detail in my journals for years, but somewhere along the line what I planned and what life had in store for me stopped aligning. I would watch my friends getting their first boyfriends before I could even glance in the direction of someone I was interested in. I would watch my peers move onto college campuses, graduate and be accepted into graduate programs before I would even take my first college class. I see my peers creating families, buying houses and kicking ass in their careers while many areas of my life still feel like one big question mark.
The way my life ought to go was sold to me in a very specific package by parents who were more traditional than they were not and having surrounded myself with people who happen to share the same values, it is sometimes difficult to let go of what my life should look like. On my best days I tell myself exactly what I would tell a friend who is struggling with this: ‘Don’t compare your life to others. We all walk different paths.’ And I wish I could say that I live in this mindset all the time, but I haven’t. There have been the days where I feel like I’ve wasted time. There have been the days where I’ve felt like I can’t catch up. There are even days when I feel my efforts just aren’t enough.
The funny thing about this that I’ve realized is that when I start to question my life, this is the only time it feels like I’m doing something wrong or that it doesn’t measure up. But what am I trying to measure up to? Standards set by everyone but me. I think in life we have been given so many pictures and ideas of what life should look like that we get confused about what life is. Life is a j o u r n e y – a very singular one at that. We are all working our ways through such different stories; we are all creating unique, singular scripts. We. Are. All. So. Different.
I know it is hard to believe this, because sometimes someone’s journey may look prettier, it may look like A LOT more fun or like an easier ride, but you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Whether you finished college in your early twenties, or are plugging away at twice that age…whether you are getting married and settling down or floating around as you wish…whether you feel like you are just so far behind….you are exactly where you are supposed to be. The is no expiration date on what you want in this life. We’ve been told too may lies about time, about what we are supposed to have done by what age, what we are supposed to want and when we are supposed to acquire it. But these timelines marketed to us, these blanketed hopes and dreams, they are nothing more than thoughts, outside ideas that don’t matter.And when these outside ideas or forced timelines make you feel those little, annoying feelings of ‘I’m behind’ or ‘I can’t catch up; everyone is where they are supposed to be’, remind yourself that is it always spring. You are still and will always be blooming. We are all blooming and there is no limit, no timeline, no script on how YOUR life should go.
Sending you love & light wherever you are! Would love to hear your thoughts on comparisons and feeling behind! Start the conversation down below ¯